Sean Malstrom Switch release damage control

One of the things that keeps me very invested in Sean Malstrom’s blog is the sheer lengths he will go to cry about the most petty shit imaginable. This aspect of his personality has shown it’s face several times over the years, but I think right now he’s having a bit of a crisis.

An Aonuma Zelda is being made that is going to easily become one of the best games ever made and sell a ton of units, to become as big as a deal as the original Zelda.

Malstrom desperately does not want to happen and is doing everything in his power to write off all the excitement surrounding the title. It’s really rather fascinating to watch him go back and forth on whether or not the Switch is going to be a failure or not.

I wasn’t around in 2006ish when his blog was getting started,) so I can’t say for absolute sure if this has always been the case, but this gives credence to my theory that Malstrom’s reputation as being the ‘only’ person to predict the Wii’s success is a fabrication. He goes back and forth on what he thinks about things so often, he can easily go back years later and act as if he’s a man with a natural sense for business.

What Malstrom thinks he is.

the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world

What I think he is.

michael-pachter

I think this countdown to the Switch’s launch in particular really demonstrates how hypocritical and short sighted he really is. There is waaaaay too much content to cover in one article, as he’s been spamming articles for over a week now (So much for his claim that he’s too busy fucking a 20 something Zero Suit Samus cosplayer to write articles, huh?) But there are a number of things that I do want to point out.

Specifically, his retarded views on digital only games.

It is hard for me to hate on Blaster Master, and this apparently is a sequel and not a remake. It does seem to be a reboot complete with DLCs.

If this was on a cart, it would be a no brainer. But there are no carts so there will be no sales.

It is a really, really bad idea to put Blaster Master Zero as a download game with the indies. People who are interested in this game do not think of it as indie value, they think of it as cartridge value. Blaster Master was its own game once. Why not Blaster Master Zero?

There is a flaw in thinking that 8-bit or 16-bit modern remakes need to be ‘download only’ or only digital where they need physical releases more than anything. Look at how 2d Mario outsold everything the last couple of generations. If Nintendo had made NSMB an indie type title and download only, it would have been a disaster and destruction of the IP. I do not see Blaster Master Zero resurrecting the IP doing this, I see it destroying the IP. Look at Link Between Worlds. Was that game an indie game? No.

More carts please.

He’s been talking about this a lot, lately, but his general view is that he believes people do NOT buy digital copies of games. At all.

This is especially silly since he’s generally a PC gamer, which is pretty much digital only these days except for the ABSOLUTE BIGGEST RELEASES, but his complaints towards Nintendo’s handling of indie games really make no sense, since Nintendo has been releasing a ton of popular indie games at retail for a while now. I own physical copies of Tumblestone and Shantae, for example, and have seen physical versions of DuckTales, Fast Racing, and Shovel Knight. All of which I own digitally. In short, it really doesn’t matter to me… or anyone else, really.

But Malstrom takes his ‘physical only’ rule to a ludicrous extent. Refusing to buy games he knows he would like, just because they aren’t being released at retail.  The way he dismisses Fast RMX is probably the most blatant example of this.

Dear Mr. Damon Baker (I see you are married so you are not a Master. My condolences),

You are only half-way there to making the Switch a successful console. There are many good indie games here. However, they need to be on carts. When this happens, you elevate the indie games to ‘normal games’. Many of these indie games are better than retail games. And most indie games are far more interesting than Western AAA games.

Switch has something that PlayStation and Xbox cannot do: carts.

If even a limited run, through mail, is made of these indie games on carts, they will sell 100% of the stock.

In Generation 7, Nintendo said, “There is no such thing as casual games or hardcore games. There are only games.” Then the Wii sold a gazillion because Nintendo made that context.

In Generation 9, Nintendo should say, “There is no such thing as AAA games or indie games. There are only games.” Then watch the Switch sell a gazillion.

It is all up to you, Damon Baker.

I really think the line between ‘indie’ and ‘Triple A’ is blurring all the time. People everywhere are getting a lot more value out of indie games these days, and Triple A games are getting more and more stale.

However, saying that the answer is ‘PUT THEM ON CARTS’ is just plain silly. Indie games will overshadow Triple A games the way they have been doing for years. By being fresh and unique titles that appeal to niche audiences. I have no interest in Snipperclips, but understand it’s a fantastic game for couples.

Despite being such a huge Metroid fan, Malstrom has no understanding of games can appeal to different people. He only really cares about three Nintendo franchises (Classic 2D Mario, Zelda, and Metroid) and shits on anything else that gets made, often for no real reason.

 

 

 

 

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