Miyamoto: “We don’t listen to furries.”

Following the failure of Star Fox Zero Nintendo has seen intense criticism for the poor way in which they handled the release. Broken motion controls, rehashed story elements, and releasing for the Wii U doomed the game before it even released. Fans everywhere have been clamoring for a proper Star Fox game in the vein of Star Fox Assault, with a big focus on character and story, but Shigeru Miyamoto is having none of it.

“We don’t listen to furries.” He said shortly, before he had us escorted out of his home without even answering our question about Fox and Wolf’s romantic life.

My Boyfriend and I have been huge fans of the Star Fox license since A Fox in Space was uploaded onto YouTube in 2016. Ever since then we’ve often roleplayed as the characters, and discussed at length whether Fox is a dom or a sub.

However, when we first watched a Let’s Play of Star Fox Zero, we were aghast by the low quality of it all. The streamer was having tons of trouble even controlling the game, and quite once she got to Zoness. The game was just not fun and lacked the charm and passion of A Fox in Space.

Being hard core fans of the franchise, my boyfriend and I were quick to offer suggestions to Nintendo. Get rid of the antiquated on rails sections. Make it open world. Make it story driven. Have lots of different vehicles. Have real, adult, sexual relationships between each of the characters.

DO NOT rehash Star Fox 64 again. Nintendo is often accused of simply rehashing all of their franchises without implementing anything new, and Star Fox is perhaps the perfect example of this. There has NEVER been a Star Fox game that significantly deviates from the formula established by the first release on the N64.

Nintendo is not listening to the fans of Star Fox. And that, to me, guarantees that they will never improve or change their ways. And that makes me a sad panda.

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