Roger Ebert returns from Grave to review Death Stranding

Death Stranding has been a momental success. Everything from it’s acting to the pacing to the story was meticulously crafted by mastermind Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima by hand. Developing a small indie game entirely Solo with no backing from Konami may have seemed daunting and even impossible, but Kojima has singlehandedly developed the greatest game of the year, and perhaps of all time until The Last of Us 2 comes out.

Death Stranding is so good, in fact, that legendary film reviewer Roger Ebert was channeled via a Fey family Spirit medium to cover the release. Ebert, who has long been critical of the idea of games being set, had this to say:

”Games will never be art. However Death Stranding is more than a game. It is a film, and as such I consider it higher than a game. I still hate it though.”

Ebert, unable to clear the game even on the Very Easy mode that was specifically designed for his use, resorted to watching all of the game’s cutscenes on YouTube.

“The film is an incomprehensible mess.” Ebert complained. “The acting is poor, the dialogue is stilted, and I don’t care about these characters.”

Upon being informed of these criticisms, Kojima simply responded that he had made such a deep, insightful storyline that many who misunderstood it’s message would hate it. He himself couldn’t understand it.

”One would have to watch many Rick and Morty episodes in order to understand Death Stranding.” One Twitter user said.

Gene Siskel, Roger’s longtime partner was unavailable for comment as he is currently burning in hell for not liking Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

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